I showed him my bush... on skype.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
