After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
