You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
