fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize