I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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