i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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