My brain says no but my pants say off.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize