she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
