the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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