I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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