Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
