i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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