i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize