another moral hangover. fuck.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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