he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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