just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So here I am, sexting at work.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize