The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
