I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
