just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize