I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
