Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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