we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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