haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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