this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
