Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
