the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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