we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
