if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
