unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
