Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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