He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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