cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize