yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
