so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
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i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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