North Korea, Best Korea!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Did I show you my penis last night?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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