they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
