oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
