pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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