i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
