How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
