my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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