Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
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