I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
