he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
