Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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