I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
