Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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