Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
