So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
