Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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