She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
