made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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