Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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