I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
They took my balls.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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